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|Friday, August 29th, 2003|
|OK, I lied.
Most of my entries will be in my deadjournal, but I will be using this journal occasionally. Current Mood: blah
|Tuesday, December 4th, 2001|
|OK, I've had enough...
Well all, I will no longer be using livejournal, because I've been having way too many problems with it, probably because it is too busy all the time. But I will be setting up a new journal for heretik, on deadjournal.com. How gaaawth of me, huh? Feel free to check it out. Later. Current Mood: annoyed
|Friday, November 30th, 2001|
| Current Mood: excited
Irreparable invalid markup ('<br \>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
<img src="http://squirming.net/meme/tests/criminal/elizabethbathory.jpg" title="I am Elizabeth Bathory."><br \><a href="http://squirming.net/meme/tests/criminal/">Which Evil Criminal are <i>You</i>?</a>
Ah, I've always been intrigued by Countess Bathory. I'm a guy, but I feel quite honored, heheh.
I found out tonight that one of my favorite bands in the world, The Vladimirs (from Cincinnati), are playing in Bristol on Dec. 29; I can't believe it! FUCK YEAH!!!
|Thursday, November 29th, 2001|
"A Night Like This" by The Cure sums up how I've been feeling deep inside.
"Say goodbye on a night like this
If it's the last thing we ever do
You never looked as lost as this
Sometimes it doesn't even look like you
It goes dark
It goes darker still
But I watch you like I'm made of stone
As you walk away...
I'm coming to find you if it takes me all night
A witch hunt for another girl
For always and ever is always for you
The most gorgeously stupid thing I ever cut in the world
Say hello on a day like today
Say it everytime you move
The way that you look at me now
Makes me wish I was you
It goes deep
It goes deeper still
And the smile and the shake of your head...
I'm coming to find you if it takes me all night
Can't stand here like this anymore
For always and ever is always for you
I want it to be perfect
I want to change it all
I want to change" Current Mood: melancholy
|Wednesday, November 28th, 2001|
i decided tonight at work that i wouldn't be coming back tomorrow. i fucking hate outbound calls, and i won't do them. i stayed for the new training, and now i'm done. >:D fuck that place. i'm gonna laugh so hard when they end up closing down. 'cause work with outbound calls is practically illegal at this point. i don't know what i'm gonna do, since jobs are hard to come by lately. but i'm taking it easy for about a week. THIS FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD!!! hahaha Current Mood: jubilant
|Saturday, November 24th, 2001|
Well, I talked to her about it online tonight, and it looks like we will never be getting back together. And this really hurts me. It cuts me to the bone. Nobody is to blame; it's just the situation. If we're not compatible as a couple, that's just the way it is. But I really care about her and respect her, and want to always keep her friendship. Current Mood: sad
|Tuesday, November 20th, 2001|
It's amazing just how much my job can fuck me over. Starting Monday, for like 45 days or so, they're making me work at the god damn place that i happened to work at a few years ago... doing outbound calls. The reason I got the job I have now in the first place was because THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE US DO FUCKING OUTBOUND CALLS! God damn it. Fucking bullshit. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. I'm thinking about quitting. But I really need my insurance right now.
Well, in other news... the Independents show last Saturday was fucking incredible. They're such a perfectly fucked up band. Heavy metal tinged horror ska punk with a dash of Elvis. Somehow it works.
Ugh... I just want to go in to work tomorrow with no clothes on, jump up on a desk, and piss all over the place. I'm so sick of this shit. Where is my fucking life?! fsdjklgasdjkw3rur2489ruw3489pfk034gfmi!!
!!!! Current Mood: distressed
|Saturday, November 17th, 2001|
I've actually been somewhat happy for the most part, lately. I still get depressed sometimes but it isn't overwhelming. I'm going to see Blitzkid and The Independents tomorrow night in Bristol, I'm fucking stoked about that!
When I really get myself together I want to do a lot of travelling. There are so many places I want to go. I really fucking need it. Current Mood: good
|Friday, October 12th, 2001|
Well, I've been taking Celexa for 2 days. Hopefully I'm not bipolar, because I read up on Celexa that people who are shouldn't take it. It can induce mania. So I guess if I wake up some day, smash my alarm clock, and throw my bed through the wall I'll know I'm bipolar.
I wonder if the girl I went out with for a couple weeks awhile back will ever want to be with me again. I'd really love to see this work out. We're still friends, and we've both agreed that maybe we'll try this again when things are going better for both of us. I like her so much that I really don't want anybody else. I guess I can only take things one day at a time. And I've never been very good at that. Current Mood: lonely
|Saturday, October 6th, 2001|
I have to get this off my chest. God damn it, I AM SICK OF BEING AROUND CRUSTIES. Why the fuck do so many people choose not to shower or brush their teeth? If someone isn't homeless and they have running water there's no fucking excuse. Are they afraid they'll get their punk rock license revoked? Current Mood: nauseated
|Friday, October 5th, 2001|
|Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001|
I've been sick with an upper respiratory infection. I finally went to see a doctor today. I also told him that a chemical imbalance seems to run in my family, and that I needed to be referred to someone about this. I seem to have all the symptoms of bipolar disorder (though no one has told me this; I figured this out myself a long time ago). I've been given a number to call about treatment for my undeniable mental illness, and for now I've been put on Celexa. I'm not supposed to start taking it until I finish my antibiotics. Hopefully I'm not beyond help. I'm so sick and tired of being this way. Always being torn apart by things that are beyond my control. People can say "cheer up" all they fucking want, but how the hell can somebody cheer up when they have no control over their emotions? Current Mood: sick
|Friday, September 21st, 2001|
Whatever becomes of this, we must keep hope. I am so sorry for all the innocent people who have died, and everyone who has lost . I have never been a nationalist, but I will certainly not deny the fact that anyone who threatens our safety and well being is not to be tolerated. I wish the best for all the innocent people in the world. We could die right now, or we could live to be 100. We should love our precious time in this mortal coil. Current Mood: hopeful
|Wednesday, July 18th, 2001|
she's taken Current Mood: frustrated
|Sunday, July 15th, 2001|
Well, it's been quite some time since I've updated, obviously.
It seems very unlikely right now, but I'm hoping that by some amazing turn of events I'll be able to see TSOL in Richmond, VA next month.
Looks like a couple of friends are interested in playing bass and drums in the gothic/deathrock band I want to form. So we need a guitar player now. I think I'll use my natural voice a lot more in this monstrosity, than I have in past musical experiments.
I'm starting to think that the punkish girl I met at the last show I went to (well, actually she was one of the people I went there with; she introduced herself to me when we were all outside) really likes me. She's beautiful, and though I've barely had a chance to talk to her, she seems to be a really cool person. I want to get to know her, and see what happens. Current Mood: optimistic
|Monday, June 11th, 2001|
I got off work early today; I just worked 2 hours. Even though there isn't shit to do today, I'm always happy not to be at work, heh. Yeah, I'm quite the slacker. But at least I refuse to let myself sink to the level of a freeloader, unlike...::ahem::...some people I know.
Blah. Maybe a little later I'll go for a drive, and wander the stagnant Egyptian roads of Bumfuck for awhile. Current Mood: good
|Saturday, June 9th, 2001|
That phone call I got from her last month, on my birthday, has still been stuck in my mind. I'll never take her back into my life. She abused our friendship for way too long. I know she's sorry, but I can't trust her anymore. I feel bad because I know my decision hurt her; it hurts me too. But I can't play the game anymore.
It was always so weird with us; calling one another "best friend"; even though we both always seemed to want it to be more than that. But I never let it happen, because deep down I always knew that there was no way in hell that it would work. I guess I should be glad that I didn't allow it to happen. Obviously it wouldn't work, since she took my friendship for granted so much, time and time again. Like I told her, I don't wish misfortune upon her, but I want nothing to do with her anymore. I should have told her that fucking years ago.
"Suddenly I stop
But I know it's too late
Lost in a forest
The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
Again and again..."
My favorite song in the world. Current Mood: depressed
|Monday, June 4th, 2001|
There's so much fucking bullshit in this world. I wish that drugs would be legalized. I'm not into drugs myself, but if they were legalized it would be great for reducing the population. Why even arrest a junkie and/or a dealer? If someone is willing to be victimized, let them go for it. It really makes me sick that murderers, rapists, and child molesters do less time than these people, and get off the hook more easily. I don't think that murderers, rapists, and child molesters should be executed. That's being too easy on them. They should be used for vivisection instead, since our tax dollars go to vivisection anyway. And would that not be a great form of punishment? Current Mood: very pissed off and fed up
|Sunday, June 3rd, 2001|
My head is killing me. I'm tired. Gotta be back at work at 9 tonight. Yeah, I know, "bitch, bitch, bitch". Heh... Current Mood: cranky
The idiots who call me at work just keep getting more and more stupid and annoying. I've really been getting back into drawing lately. And that's a good thing. I've been into sketching distorted faces and bodies lately. I need to get a band started; one that will actually care, this time. Current Mood: creative